I failed at balance! And I hope you do too.
The path to building your unique journey fearlessly.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that you shouldn't have a balanced lifestyle or take care of yourself. Sadly, in the path to finding a holistic life, we all get overwhelmed and distracted. Having a holistic life should give you peace and joy. That is why you do it! Not because everyone on the internet is saying so.
Ok so tell me if this sounds like you: I am an entrepreneur and I have to care about customers, revenue and product round the clock. I also need to take care of myself so I don’t get burned out. I also need to take care of the people around me so I can have healthy relationships. And then I have to show up on social media aesthetically so it seems I have it all together. On top of it, I need to meditate, cook, eat healthily and read and invest and blah, blah, blah.
And this is what we all call a balanced life! But let’s get real, this sounds like a cluttered life. The HAVEs and SHOULDs are taking over our lives so much that there is no real room for a sustainable life that would truly bring you peace and growth.
A decade ago, it was glorious to be building in a garage and hustling. When we started adjusting to that life, rules changed and now we have to build, be holistic and happy and perfect and so much more……
I failed at it miserably. Not once but multiple times. But here is the thing, I didn’t even know that I was failing till I hit the burnout.
I was struggling to get my silicon valley startup off the ground and still smiling when I was with my friends to show how happy I am with my choices.
We were a husband and wife team working round the clock without any personal life and thinking how lucky we are.
My mind was so focused on user growth that I was failing miserably at meditating or reading or exercising.
I used to wonder how is it that people are able to do everything. Is it because they have a better idea? Or because they got funded? Or because they were already rich? What was it that I wasn’t able to do?
Over the past few years, I have spoken to 100s of entrepreneurs. Some have sold their companies for millions and others are running successful startups. Some are just starting out and some are shutting their companies after trying for a while. And this is what I have learned:
No one has it together. NO ONE!!!! And yes social media is only part truth.
Everyone is looking for something that they don’t have. EVERYONE!
Each of us is living with our insecurities and they give us dark days multiple times a month.
None of us have perfect relationships.
We all are bloody brilliant!!! YES WE ALL ARE….
And that is why this chase for balance needs to shift. We all need to instead find our own rhythm. Each of us comes from very different mindsets, stories and circumstances. So how can we have a one size fit all model? Here are a few things I try ( It is hard to do though!):
Surround yourself, physically and digitally with people who make you happy than overwhelm you.
Ease on the lists, please! Trying new things is great but when you attach your happiness to accomplishing everything, it leads to burnout.
Think strategically about freedom. For you to do what you truly love, you need a plan and a really good discipline to execute it.
Become brutally honest with yourself. balance is not just meditating, living in the woods. You can be well balanced and sustainable living in a condo and playing video games.
When you see someone win, feel truly joyful for their success. This is hard so you will have to train your mind that always go to: Why don’t I get successful like them? OR Why is this not happening for me? Instead say: This is beautiful. And I am there too.
And lastly, we all have been told a few misconceptions about balance. Some myths that I want to bust:
Balance is not chased, it is made! We all have to create it uniquely in our lives and that means giving grace to ourselves and being ok with where we are right now.
Balance is not settling down with mediocrity, it is rather a sustainable journey that is slower in the beginning but the computing rewards are exponential.
Womxn are generally told to not dream bigger because they have to balance a personal and professional life. NOPE! Finding balance means harmony of our internal aspirations with our external life. We sometimes think it means to balance the expectations of society.
Finding balance is not about quitting rather letting go! There is a huge difference. One makes you feel loss and the other powerful. You choose what doesn't serve you anymore and move on from it.
Balance is not about finishing a bucket list. It means to have peace with everything that you have accomplished so far and be excited about what is next.
How do you pursue a balanced lifestyle? What are your current struggles with it? Tell me below.
Until next time!
Love and light.
Arjita
Thanks for sharing it with us Arjita. Recently, I wrote a piece of article about my attempts to bringing a balance in my lifestyle, here is the link - https://smritianand.substack.com/p/unboxing-mindfulness :))