5 Steps to take before you react to that criticism.

Ok, tell me if this sounds familiar. You post a piece of content and share a thoughtful opinion, or point of view and you get some hateful comments. Or, you work at a company and a person from another team is always undermining you, your ideas, and you don’t understand why. Or, you are an entrepreneur and you are getting advice from someone on how your idea, your product is not really that good. Or, your family and teachers don’t really appreciate your idea of life and the dreams you have and mock them.

Criticism is all around us. We might have a number of things we are proud of but let there be one critical comment, and it sends us into a spiral. All of us. Just the other day, I posted about my entrepreneur journey and got some very supportive comments. But then there it was, a random bot account with no profile picture telling me about how I have no right to talk about this as I haven’t really done anything in my life. I tried having a discourse with them but I don’t think they were interested in it at all. They had made up their mind about me. 

And boy did it hurt! But after years of people telling me that I am not good enough or how I will fail, I have developed a few steps to make myself hurt less. Criticism still hits hard but I now know how to handle it. So here are the 5 steps I am sharing with you that you can try too.

First, check the source or credibility! The mean comment I got had no followers or profile picture. They were actually a nobody trying to hurt people. And when I realized that, I got over it. If someone hasn’t accomplished or experienced something that you are talking about and has strong opinions about it, does it even matter? 

Second, ask if this is constructive? You will always get the shame inducers, the ones that belittle you in front of people, the ones that want to show how much they know. But only true mentors, advisors, and well-wishers will give you feedback that is constructive and in a safe space. Most likely they believe in you or have been through this journey themselves. Remember, constructive criticism is what every person needs to be surrounded by so that they can grow and learn. 

Third, see if their comment was confrontational. So many times, you get criticized for just existing. And we have been brought up to please people and we try to overexplain and change our ideas, and our process to make the situation more peaceful. The reality is that this criticism says more about the criticizer than you. It was never personal. So you don’t and I repeat DON’T need to budge. 

Four, let’s say that criticism did hurt! Now what? The best way is to go to your support system, in my case it is Anshul or my mom. Chat with them about the situation and share how it made you feel. Even if your support system has no advice, having space to feel hurt, sad and disheartened is essential for everyone. 

Lastly, take feedback from accountable sources. If an investor says, if you fixed this one thing about your strategy, I would invest. Or if a seasoned entrepreneur gives you help without hoping for anything in return in a kind and constructive way, then take that feedback. But if a random person gives you shade, move on! If your manager or a key stakeholder shares how you could become more effective, take that. They play a key role in your progress. But that random team member who belittles you is just showing how unprofessional they are. If a teacher guides you to become more aligned with your vision and dreams, take that criticism and work on it. But if they fail to really see your point of view, their opinions should matter less. 

So the next time, criticism knocks on your door, take a while and assess it before you react to it. What advice would you like to add to this list? Share and comment below.